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Honest writing about healing after divorce
No fluff, no toxic positivity. These are the real questions people bring to Rebuilding, answered in plain language: how to find a group that actually helps, what to do with the shame, how to protect the kids, and when to start. Read one, or read a whole track.
Is Rebuilding right for me?
If you are comparing groups or just wondering whether you are ready, these are the honest starting points.
Divorce Support Groups Near Me: How to Find One That Won't Just Hold Your Hand
Looking for divorce support groups near me? Here's how to tell the difference between a circle that helps you climb and one that just holds your hand, from a facilitator who's been at this twenty-plus years.
11 min read Read →Divorce Support Groups: What to Look For When 'Just Talk About Your Feelings' Isn't Enough
If you've sat in a circle and listened to someone tell you to pray harder when what you needed was a roadmap. This one's for you.
8 min read Read →Online Divorce Support Groups: Live Cohorts vs. Self-Paced, and Why the Difference Matters
There's a particular kind of evening that happens when a marriage is ending. The kids are finally asleep, or they're a thousand miles away with the other parent, and the ...
10 min read Read →What Actually Happens in a Divorce Support Group (and Whether You Belong in One)
I run an intro workshop every month, and the first thing I say to the people who walk in, before welcome, before glad you're here, is this:
9 min read Read →When Should I Start Rebuilding After Divorce? Five Weeks vs. Three Years.
When is the right time to start divorce recovery? Honest answer: there's no calendar. In any given Bob's workshop, attendees range from five weeks separated to three years out. Each timeline brings something. The mix is the medicine.
8 min read Read →What's a 15-Minute Consult with Bob Like? (And Why It's the First Step)
Curious about Rebuilding but not ready to commit? A 15-minute video consult with Bob is the no-pressure first step. Here's what to expect, what to bring, and what happens after.
9 min read Read →Rebuilding Program Payment Plans: We Don't Want Money to Keep You from Healing
Worried about the cost of a divorce recovery program? Here's how Rebuilding structures payment plans, why nobody is turned away for money alone, and what to email if cost is the only thing keeping you from saying yes.
8 min read Read →Therapy and Divorce Recovery Together: Why Half Our Cohort Does Both
Can I do therapy and divorce recovery at the same time? Yes, and roughly half of every Rebuilding cohort does. Here's how the two reinforce each other, and why your therapist may be the one who refers you.
7 min read Read →Inside the 10-week seminar
What the class is really like, and plain answers to the questions people ask before they join.
How Small Groups Work in Rebuilding's 10-Week Class: The Engine of the Program
How do small groups work in divorce recovery? Inside Rebuilding's 10-week class: 5-10 people per group, 2 trained co-leaders, weekly rotation, no-dating rule, treat-as-family ethos, and lifelong friendships that form along the way.
12 min read Read →Why People Stay in Rebuilding for Years: Why \"Shouldn't I Be Over It?\" Is the Wrong Question
If your divorce was years ago and you're still doing the rebuilding work, you're not pathological. You're paying attention. Here's why some Rebuilders stay engaged for years, and how returning as a volunteer co-leader is healthy, not a sign you're stuck.
9 min read Read →Do I Have to Read the Bruce Fisher Rebuilding Book? An Honest Answer.
Worried about reading the Bruce Fisher Rebuilding book between classes? Here's what people who skip the homework still get, and what they miss. The magic isn't the homework. It's the room.
8 min read Read →Missing a Week of Divorce Recovery Class: Why It Doesn't Set You Back
What happens if I miss a divorce recovery class? Honest answer from a 20-year facilitator: missing a week isn't a setback if you handle it right. Here's the catch-up protocol, and why showing up the following week matters more than perfect attendance.
7 min read Read →What If I'm the One Who Left? Is Rebuilding Still for Me?
Most divorce-recovery content assumes the reader was blindsided. But initiators have their own grief, guilt, second-guessing, identity reconstruction without the simpler narrative of being wronged. Here's why the room welcomes both.
8 min read Read →Why I Do This
Bob Manthy on why he owns and runs Rebuilding Seminars: his own divorce recovery twenty years ago, carrying Bruce Fisher's legacy forward, and why the program is built around community and healing rather than revenue.
7 min read Read →The feelings nobody warns you about
Shame, the words your ex left you with, the loop that keeps running. What actually loosens it.
Why Do I Feel Ashamed of My Divorce? The Four Forms of Divorce Shame.
Why am I ashamed of my divorce? Four common forms of divorce shame, from friends not understanding to internalized parting criticism, and why each one keeps people stuck. Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.
9 min read Read →How to Release Shame After Divorce: The Speaking-It-Out-Loud Mechanism
How do I let go of shame after divorce? The mechanism is simpler than you'd think, and harder than it sounds. Speaking shame out loud, in a room that won't shame you back, destroys its power. Here's how to find that kind of room.
9 min read Read →What My Ex Said When We Broke Up Still Hurts: How to Deconstruct Internalized Parting Criticism
The cruel things a partner said in the worst moment have a way of lodging in your psyche and surfacing for years. Here's how to recognize internalized parting criticism, deconstruct it, and stop letting it run you.
9 min read Read →Dating After Divorce: The Question That Predicts Whether You'll Heal or Repeat
A participant in one of our workshops once asked me a question I still carry around. Near the end of the evening she said, "Bob, everyone in my life keeps telling me I'm ...
12 min read Read →Protecting the kids through the change
A two-home life your children can thrive in, and the one thing that matters most.
Helping Kids Through Divorce: The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do
How do I help my kids through divorce? The single most important thing isn't a script or a strategy. It's modeling rebuilding. Kids handle divorce better when they see a parent grieving and recovering than when they see a parent pretending to be fine.
9 min read Read →Helping Your Child Through Divorce: Tips That Actually Help
Practical, age-by-age tips for helping your child through divorce, grounded in the Love and Logic approach: what to say, how to restore their sense of control, how to hold loving limits, and the warning signs to watch for. From Bob Manthy, a Boulder counselor and certified Love and Logic facilitator.
15 min read Read →Co-Parenting Life: Building a Two-Home Life Your Kids Can Thrive In
Co-parenting after divorce isn't about being a perfect ex. It's about building a stable, low-conflict two-home life your kids can thrive in, using the Love and Logic approach. Mindset, structure, and practical habits from Bob Manthy, a Boulder counselor and certified Love and Logic facilitator who has walked it.
21 min read Read →How to Co-Parent More Effectively: Practical Tips After Divorce
Practical, field-tested tips for co-parenting more effectively after divorce, grounded in the Love and Logic approach: communicate without conflict using enforceable statements, run smooth exchanges, handle the hard conversations, and keep your kids out of the middle. From Bob Manthy, a Boulder counselor and certified Love and Logic facilitator.
18 min read Read →Your Parenting Plan: What It Is and What to Include
A plain-English guide to what a parenting plan is and what to include in it after divorce, viewed through the Love and Logic lens. From Bob Manthy, a Boulder counselor and certified Love and Logic facilitator. Educational only; build your actual legal plan with a Colorado family-law attorney or mediator.
14 min read Read →Your people, and what comes next
When couple friends disappear, when nobody knows what to say, and the quieter worries about the years ahead.
Losing Friends After Divorce: When Your Couple Friends Disappear or Pick Sides
The grief of losing couple friends after divorce can rival the grief of losing the marriage. An honest look at why friend groups restructure, why it's almost never malice, and how new lifelong friendships form when everyone in the room is in the same boat.
10 min read Read →My Friends Don't Know What to Say to Me After My Divorce
The exhausting loop of being asked 'are you okay?' and saying 'I'm okay' when you're not. How to teach your friends to actually support you, when to break the I'm-okay lie, and how to ask for the daily check-in you want without burdening anyone.
12 min read Read →What to Say to a Friend Going Through Divorce: The Roadmap (Send This to Your People)
A practical roadmap for the friend of someone going through divorce, what to say, what not to say, how often to check in, and how to be present without having to fix anything. Designed to be forwarded by the divorcing person to the people they love.
14 min read Read →Who's Going to Take Care of Me When I'm Old and Single?
The 2 a.m. fear that hits everyone single past 50: who will take care of me when I'm old? An honest answer from a divorce-recovery facilitator, names the fear, demystifies the logistics, validates the loneliness without trying to fix it.
9 min read Read →Solo Adventure After Divorce: What If Something Happens to Me Out There and I Have Nobody?
The mountain trip, the motorcycle ride, the solo backcountry hike, and the 2 a.m. fear of who would even know if you needed help. A practical and emotional roadmap to solo adventure after divorce, including the specific tools and the people-side answers.
11 min read Read →The reading helps. The room helps more.
Articles can meet you where you are tonight. The 10-week seminar gives you the thing writing can't: a room of people working through the same stuck places, together. Start with a free 15-minute call whenever the time feels right for you.
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