Rebuilding Program Payment Plans: We Don’t Want Money to Keep You from Healing

By Bob Manthy

There’s a question that gets asked at almost every intro workshop, sometimes openly, sometimes only after the formal Q&A is done and someone catches me in the parking lot.

“Are there payment plans available?”

The honest answer is short, and I want to say it in plain language up front so it’s the first thing on this page:

Yes. Email me at [email protected] and we’ll work out a payment structure that fits your reality. We don’t want money to keep you from the healing you need.

That’s the principle. The rest of this article is the why and the how, for the people who’d benefit from understanding more before they reach out.

The honest financial picture of divorce

Let me name something most divorce-recovery websites won’t.

Divorce is expensive in twelve directions at once. The legal costs are the visible ones, attorney fees, mediation, court filings, but they’re often not even the largest line item. The real costs are the household split (one rent becomes two rents, one set of utilities becomes two), the lawyer-shaped chunks of equity that disappear in negotiation, the income disruption when one partner steps back from work, the kid logistics that suddenly require two of everything, and the ten thousand small purchases that go with starting over.

By the time you’d be searching for a divorce-recovery workshop, the financial picture is often tighter than it’s been in years. Maybe ever.

I know this because I sit with people on these intro nights and I hear what’s happening underneath the surface. Money is rarely a clean question for the recently-divorced. It’s tangled with grief, with guilt, with anger at the ex, with shame about asking, with fear about the future. Kryptonite to the soul in a different register.

So when I say we don’t want money to keep you from the healing you need, I’m not saying it as marketing copy. I’m saying it because I’ve watched too many people stand in the doorway of a healing program they needed and walk away because they couldn’t see how to make the cost work. And then carry that turning-away as one more small wound on top of the bigger one.

I’d rather build payment plans than watch that happen.

What payment plans actually look like

Here’s the realistic shape of what we work out, person by person.

Monthly installments across the cohort. The full program cost gets split into payments across the ten-week cohort, sometimes a few months beyond. You start the program, you make the first payment, and the rest follows on a schedule that fits your cash flow. No interest, no late fees, no judgment if a month gets adjusted because life happened.

Reduced-rate seats. Each cohort holds a small number of reduced-tuition seats for participants whose finances genuinely can’t stretch to the standard rate. No one is turned away from rebuilding work because of money alone. That’s the principle. And reduced rates are one mechanism for it.

Customized arrangements. Sometimes the right fit is something neither of the above. Maybe you can pay half upfront and half over six months. Maybe you need to start with the next cohort instead of this one because a lump-sum option works better for you in three months. Maybe you’d like to propose a skill-barter arrangement. That kind of trade is something I’m open to discussing. Email me. We’ll figure it out together.

No interest, no upcharge for paying over time. A payment plan isn’t a loan. The total cost is the same whether you pay in one chunk or four monthly installments. I’m not making more on the people who can’t pay upfront. That’d be exactly the wrong incentive for a healing program.

Why I’m willing to do this

Some people will read the section above and wonder, gently, whether the program can sustain itself if I keep flexing on price. Fair question. Let me answer it honestly.

Yes, the program is sustainable. It’s sustainable because most participants pay the standard rate, and that subsidizes the small number who genuinely can’t. That’s by design. It’s how I want the program to work, and it’s how it’s worked for years.

There’s also a deeper reason. I’ve spent twenty-plus years watching what happens in these cohorts, and the participants who needed reduced rates have, over and over, been some of the participants who got the most out of the program. Healing isn’t correlated with what someone can pay. It’s correlated with how much they need it and how willing they’re to show up. The reduced-rate participants tend to score very high on both axes.

So the math works. The program works. Nobody who needs the room is shut out by the price tag.

What you’d be paying for, plainly

I want to be clear about what the program cost actually covers, so you can hold it against your sense of value.

• Ten three-hour Sunday-night sessions. Thirty hours of structured group time, plus the catch-up conversations if you miss a week.
• A trained, twenty-plus-year facilitator. Me. Plus the volunteer co-leaders who run the small-group rotations, typically themselves Rebuilding alumni who’ve been trained to lead.
• The Bruce Fisher framework. The 19 Rebuilding Blocks curriculum, taught experientially with structured exercises in each session.
• A cohort of forty. Forty people who become forty people who know your story. The community is the engine of the program; you’re paying for access to it.
• Lifelong alumni network. Once you’ve been through a Rebuilding cohort, you’re part of an alumni community that runs on its own (post-program meetups, friendships that last decades, ongoing referrals into therapy, dating, employment, and life).
• The book. Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher, your copy comes with the program.

If you compared the per-hour cost to weekly therapy with a licensed clinician, the cohort is dramatically less per hour and offers something therapy structurally can’t (the community of witnesses). If you compared it to a free drop-in support group, you’re paying for the structure, the trained facilitator, the cohort cohesion, and the developmental curriculum that the free format usually doesn’t have.

What about free options?

I want to mention this because it matters.

Free divorce support groups exist. DivorceCare is the largest network, thousands of churches host their 13-week faith-based program at no cost. Local mental-health agencies sometimes run sliding-scale or free groups. Meetup has peer-led divorce groups in many cities. Hospital social-work departments occasionally have community offerings.

If money is genuinely impossible right now and the reduced-rate seats in the next Rebuilding cohort are filled, go to a free group. Don’t wait. Whatever room is available is better than no room. The healing is real even when the format is less structured.

I’m not in competition with DivorceCare or with peer-led groups. I’m running a different shape of program, paid, trained-facilitator, structured-cohort, evidence-based. The shape costs what it costs because of what’s in it. But the underlying need, people sitting in a room together telling each other the truth: is met in lots of formats, and free is real.

If you’re choosing between “free now” and “wait three months for a Rebuilding scholarship slot,” go free now. Then come do Rebuilding when it fits.

What to write in the email

If you’ve read this far and you’re going to email me, here’s what’d help.

You don’t need a long explanation. You don’t need to justify your finances. You don’t need to apologize for asking.

A useful email might look like:

Hi Bob, I attended an intro workshop (or read your website / heard from a friend) and I’d like to do the next 10-week cohort. Cost is going to be tight for me, I’d appreciate exploring a payment plan or reduced rate. Could we set up a 15-minute video consult to figure out a fit? Thanks.

That’s it. I’ll write back, we’ll get on a call, we’ll work something out. Just show up, even in email.

What to do if reading this still feels like asking is too hard

The shame loop around asking for financial help is real. I see it. If reading this article and getting to the email step is itself a hill, I want to say something directly to that voice.

You’re not the first person to ask. You won’t be the last. The fact that you’re considering a structured healing program means you’re already doing the right thing for yourself. Asking for a payment plan isn’t a weakness. It’s a sign you’re serious enough about this to make it work.

The room is full of people who, at some point, had to ask for something they didn’t think they should have to ask for. They’re climbing the same blocks you are. Welcome.

Three small things you can do this week

Write the email. Open a new message to [email protected]. Use the template above. Hit send. The hardest part is over once it’s sent.

Read more answers. Frequently Asked Questions covers what people ask me at the door, including the cost-and-payment-plan version of this conversation in shorter form.

Let’s just talk. Schedule a 15-minute video consult, no cost, no commitment. We can talk through the financial picture together if you’d rather have a real conversation than write an email.

If money is the only thing standing between you and the healing, please reach out. We don’t want money to keep you from the healing you need. That’s not a slogan. It’s how the program actually works.

Frequently asked questions

Do you offer scholarships?

We hold a small number of reduced-rate seats every cohort for participants whose finances can’t stretch to the standard rate. The number isn’t unlimited, first to ask, first to receive, but if a seat isn’t available in this cohort, I can usually hold one in the next.

Will my insurance cover the workshop?

Generally no, Rebuilding isn’t a clinical service, so it’s not coded for insurance reimbursement. That said, some Health Savings Account (HSA) and Flexible Spending Account (FSA) plans will cover it if your employer’s plan defines it as wellness spending. Check with your HR or HSA administrator.

What’s the average payment plan structure?

Most payment plans split the program cost into three to four monthly installments, starting at the beginning of the cohort. Some run longer if the situation calls for it. We figure it out together on the consult.

What if I have to drop out mid-program, do I owe the rest?

If life genuinely intervenes, a medical emergency, a sudden cross-country move, a family crisis, we’ll work out either a credit toward the next cohort or an adjusted final balance. We don’t pursue payment from people in active crisis. The principle is the principle.