Why I Do This
By Bob Manthy
Hi there,
I’ve been reflecting on a question I get asked at almost every intro workshop. Sometimes it’s asked openly, and sometimes it’s the quiet question in the parking lot afterward. Can this program really be as good as it sounds?
I know that reaching out when life feels foggy or completely upended isn’t easy. Rebuilding isn’t just a program I run, it’s a path I once had to walk myself. It’s about creating a safe container where we can all find the courage to be seen and supported precisely as we are.
Why do I do this? Because Bruce Fisher’s work helped me during my own divorce, and I wanted to carry it forward. That’s true, and it’s most of the answer. But the longer version matters because it changes how the program runs, how I approach the room every Sunday night, and how I care for the Rebuilding Seminars graduate community.
The short version, first
I went through my own divorce about twenty years ago. Like most people who’ve been there, I came out the other side alive, still hurting, afraid, and not sure who I really was. A therapist or a friend, the memory blurs, pointed me toward Bruce Fisher’s Rebuilding book and a seminar run by a Fisher-trained facilitator.
The Rebuilding Seminar and my new cohort of friends changed my life. I don’t say that lightly. Climbing the 19 Rebuilding Blocks alongside a group of people who were in it with me gave me a path forward when I couldn’t see one. Just show up, the facilitator said. I did. The room held me.
I started building a life on the other side of that climb and started paying it forward by volunteering for the program. At the same time, I began earning my Professional Counseling degree, and, when I graduated, I bought the Rebuilding Seminars program to carry it forward. It was a significant commitment, but the program had given me something I didn’t know how to ask for, and I wanted to ensure others could find that same path.
That’s the short version. My own divorce, Bruce’s framework, the cohort that held me, and my evolution as a counselor and facilitator, and then showing up to build community for the healing of many. Rebuilding Seminars is not only my heart-job, it is my calling.
What carrying Bruce Fisher’s legacy means to me
Bruce Fisher passed away before I ever heard of him. The work outlived him because of facilitators who chose to carry the framework forward. I think about that lineage often.
Bruce mapped the developmental sequence of recovery in a way nobody had before. The 19 blocks aren’t a treatment protocol, they’re a developmental map for becoming whole people again. More than that, to find the freedom to be ourselves and develop the close and real relationships that will have us feel seen and heard for the rest of our lives.
I improve the program every year. It is now a safer space, and the cohorts bond more quickly than ever. I’m not a lecturer. I’m a facilitator of the work and a community builder. I’m someone who climbed the blocks and was held by the framework. My job is to keep the room safe for deep vulnerability, give you the space to heal, and together, help you create a community that will support you for a lifetime.
It is a calling, in the small-c sense.
Why I run a program, not a business
I want to name something up front: I don’t need Rebuilding Seminars to keep the lights on. My professional background is in technology, including a stretch at Google, and I’ve spent the last half-decade doing consulting for non-profits. Rebuilding has always been my passion job. Now it is not my side-gig, but my focus. The cohorts cover their own costs and my overhead (in most years), and I am fortunate that this isn’t how I make a living.
This isn’t a small detail. It changes everything.
It means the intro workshops are genuinely no-pressure. I tell every person, “Everyone comes to Rebuilding Seminars at the time that is right for them. I would love it if you would join the next cohort and start your healing and transformation now. If not, I’m still glad you came, and I hope you got something very helpful out of the evening.” Rebuilding works because I hold a space for exactly where you are.
It means I can hold the size at forty. Larger cohorts are more economical for me, but they’re less effective for participants. Thirty to forty is the cohort size that works best for the small-group rotation and cohort cohesion. I can hold that because I’m not optimizing for revenue.
It means the price is a small fraction of the value. I survey every Rebuilding Seminars graduate and ask about the value relative to the cost. That cost includes the complete 30-hour program, 12 or more facilitated isolation-busting social activities during the seminar, and lifetime access to approximately sixty scheduled Rebuilding Seminars Graduate Community events every year. The results are not surprising. Overwhelmingly, Rebuilding Seminars is rated “Very High Value” for the price.
Because I’m not depending on the business, I can run a program. A business optimizes for the company. A program optimizes for the participant. This is a program.
Values we hold together
There are a few principles I won’t compromise on. They’re worth naming so you know what you’re walking into.
Coming as you are. Our workshops are simply a space to meet. Whether you decide to join us now or later, the invitation is always there, held without pressure or expectation.
We create a safe space. You can be yourself without judgment or advice. Expect compassion for your situation. Whether your story involves loss or difficult decisions, the room is filled with respect and understanding, helping you feel safe and accepted as you are.
Caring for the whole community. We strive to keep this work accessible through payment plans and support, because healing shouldn’t be out of reach.
Walking together. Our volunteers are graduates who have climbed these same blocks. They lead with the “I go first” principle, modeling the vulnerability they once found in this same room.
Inclusive and welcoming. Rebuilding Seminars is a safe space for everyone, regardless of faith or culture. Our framework is built to hold the diversity of the human experience.
An enduring connection. The seminar is the front door to a lifelong community. We’re here for the long journey of becoming whole people again, together.
What I get from the work
Some of you have asked, “Bob, why do you keep doing this?” That answer is easy. I get to witness the sacred transformation of the person and the life-giving bond of community.
It is the privilege of a lifetime to walk with forty people as they navigate the most difficult transition of their lives. I watch the moment the armor begins to soften, not because it’s forced, but because the room is finally safe enough to put it down. I see the shame that has haunted someone for years finally meet self-compassion, and I watch it evaporate.
I see the shift from “I am damaged” to the self-love of “I am imperfectly enough.”
Every cohort is a masterclass in human resilience. I’m not the master here, I’m a student. Every time a room bonds, every time someone finds their voice, I am reminded that my own work isn’t finished either. I grow as you grow. I learn as you learn. Witnessing your courage to be real reminds me that we are all in this lifelong process of becoming, never fully arriving. We lead and move forward together.
That is enough. It is more than enough.
Moving closer to healing
If you are feeling ready to take a small step forward, I invite you to explore these resources.
Understand the path. Learn more about how our small groups provide a safe space or how this work supports your individual therapy. If you have questions about financial accessibility, we can find a way together.
Hear from others. Our Frequently Asked Questions reflect the concerns of real people who have walked through our doors.
Understand the Impact. See the over three hundred 5.0-star Google reviews to understand the real-world impact Rebuilding Seminars and the Rebuilding Seminars community have had on others after their loss.
A simple conversation. Sometimes the best thing is just to be heard. You can schedule a 15-minute chat with me. No pressure, just a chance to share where you are.
The community is here whenever you feel ready to join the circle. We look forward to meeting you, exactly as you are.
Rebuilding together,
Bob